Marie D'Elephant: Heal With Curiosity
Being Curious With Our Code
Being Curious With Our Code
Many people in our culture today feel hopeless. No matter what you do, no matter what you try, you're not pretty enough, you're not smart enough, you're not doing enough, you're not strong enough, and it's all your fault.
Here's the thing, it's not.
You've been told a lie: you are not lazy and you are not fucked up. You've been executing someone else's story. The first step in healing is to be curious.
Who told you the story?... Who told you you weren't good enough? Who told you you weren't pretty enough? Who told you you weren't strong enough?
Schedule a free call with me today and let's get curious about how you got here and get you reconnected to yourself to realize that you are beyond qualification and do, in fact, know what you want in life.
Learn more about who Marie is, whom she seeks to help, and her coaching values.
What do Marie's clients & community think?
Curious? Book a free intro call with Marie.
Navigate relationship dynamics, including those specific to non-monogamy by improving Self knowledge and boosting communication quality.
Unpack lingering conscious and subconscious narratives from toxic dogma. Safely explore secular ways of spiritual connection.
Safely discuss challenges within your own sexuality and shared sexual experiences. Please note, while I support sex work, I do not provide it.
Marie was raised as an evangelical Christian in Minnesota. She began doubt it all at 13 years old but the damage of mind/body disconnect narratives from her faith had severed her from sensing her Self. So she began a decade of hyper-religiosity, followed by a decade plus of unprocessed profound dysfunction (albeit she was secular by this point). Most recently, she has embarked on some deep healing from her faith narratives as well as other cultural narratives like white supremacy, internalized misogyny, ableism, codependency, mothering of partners, transphobia, homophobia, sexual repression and more. Her work is on the sense of Self which she does poetically but with her intellect in tact. Marie is also in favor of the use of plants for healing.
Marie began working in these areas as a means of healing herself, processing her trauma, and connecting with others who struggle as well. Marie was the co-host of the podcast Everyone's Agnostic from November 2018 until it ended in October 2019. Marie then started her own podcast called Everyone's Autonomous. She continues to guest appear on other platforms, speaking about her activism with toxic dogma, the deconstruction of monogamy, secular spirituality, and all things intrapersonally deconstructive. She has been the administrator and facilitator of an ex-religious support group in her local community since 2015. Marie began to explore non-monogamy in 2017 in order to face her own obvious sexual repression. She educated herself with books like Ethical Slut, More Than Two, and the podcast Secular Sexuality. Marie has led breakout sessions at MNPolyCon and is listed in the poly-friendly professionals directory.
"Marie gets it. And Marie is honest and, when it's called for...blunt. We often need that kind of honest clarity in order to shake us free from conditioned responses and standard ways of thinking that have left us stuck in places we need to get out of. She's not afraid to ask 'why?' or 'why not?' When I need someone to process with and give me honest feedback, I call Marie."
"If I'm needing help to work through my personal issues related to my religious past, I'm looking for three things: 1) someone who has also experienced a traumatic departure from a supernatural worldview, 2) someone who has done the hard work of honestly engaging the grief related to losing faith, family and friends, and 3) someone who will fully engage with my unique story, listen intently, and care. Marie has these talents in spades. I've personally witnessed the depths of her insight, intuition and compassion. If it's a fit, I'm confident that clients of Marie will feel fortunate to have found her."
"My journey has been tough, scary and at times defeating. From day 1, Marie has been a support. Always encouraging not just my concerns, but everyone! She listens, offers heartfelt advice. But one thing that has truly stood out to me about her is: her ability to listen, contemplate and offer clear and sound advice. She is non-judgmental of people’s feelings no matter her stance on a topic."
"Marie helped me process and navigate a healthy outlook on my own relationship and my own feelings. I'm so thankful that I've had Marie in my life to listen and share her experiences. Especially when I felt I had no one who could empathize with my own experiences as a person who doesn't subscribe to monogamy."
"Marie is wise in life and in love; in what is real and what is felt. Her first hand experience with polyamory, religious trauma, and the journey away from the make-believe gives a fresh perspective to the advice and support that she gives. She is living it. She is raw, honest, and passionate about her work. My life is better with her in it and yours will be, too."
"Marie has a knack for putting herself in the shoes of anyone in any kind of relationship. She is able to be empathetic to many perspectives while also providing an external eye to a potential way forward through ups and downs. Her life experience is an inspiration as well, but she'll never tell you that."
"Marie is also a wise friend who I trust immensely when it comes to processing non-traditional relationships, which can be especially difficult for those who come from religious cultures and communities that often target LGBTQ+ folks, non-monogamous partnerships, and those who do not participate in traditional gender roles. If you are seeking a non-clinical approach to deconstruction, family planning, or relationship coaching, I highly recommend scheduling a few sessions with Marie!"
"Who do you talk to when what you're trying to learn about is still so taboo that there is little good information readily available?
Marie made me feel validated as a woman and as a sexual being. She made me feel empowered to talk to my husband again in a more confident and knowledgeable and compassionate way. It has made me a happier, more fulfilled and empowered woman. Surprisingly, it's also made our marriage stronger, more fun, playful, and best of all hot and heavy sexy!"
"Marie is insightful and considerate of the unique challenges and awesome perks that come along with leaving toxic religious attitudes behind, crushing patriarchal ideals, and exploring ideas about sexuality and relationships that are out of the mainstream. She is a non-judgmental listener who doesn't know all the answers, but has a lot of questions that can help you consider your needs and wants and how to move your life forward in a way that brings you closer to your goals. "
Book your intro call here!
What's the Difference Between Coach & Therapist?
I am not a therapist nor a counselor. Therapists may provide diagnoses, administer psychological assessments, take insurance, and treat trauma. Coaches do not do any of the aforementioned. Coaches may provide more hands-on support in exploring present challenges you're facing. Coaches, like myself, who are trauma-informed, do not actually treat trauma. If a client has severe religious trauma that inhibits them from doing work related to coaching, I would refer them to a mental health professional.
I just used a bunch of buzz words in the sections above. If you've arrived to this section thinking, "Dear god, what the fuck did she say?", then this FAQ is for you:
Autonomy: the right and condition of self-government (over the self)
Codependency: excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner
Deconstruct: analyze in order to expose hidden internal assumptions and contradictions and subvert its apparent significance or unity
Ethics: moral principles that govern a person's behavior or the conducting of an activity (such as non-monogamy)
Ethical Non-Monogamy: an umbrella term for every ethical practice or philosophy of intimate relationship that does not strictly hew to the standards of monogamy, particularly that of having only one person with whom to exchange sex, love, and/or affection.
Gaslighting: the manipulation of someone by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
Monogamy: the practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner
Narrative: a spoken or written account of connected events (I used it to reference a story or story arc we tell ourselves which may or may not be objectively true)
Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple sexual/romantic relationships with the consent of all the people involved.
Toxic Monogamy: the manifestation of monogamy involving extreme possessiveness, limitless jealousy, expectation of getting all needs needing to be met by partner, massive insecurity, and promising "forever"
Toxic Religion: manipulation of followers by those in power, often involving money, sex, fear, abuse, children, dictation and even violence
También hablo español. Así que gente hispano-hablante, ¡hablemos! En el futuro, quiero alcanzar tener una página igualito con esta, pero en español. ¡Gracias por su paciencia!